Almost Human Read online

  “This is your stop. Out.”

  “What, no! You can’t leave us here!”

  “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. Leon will be with me and I gave you the silver. Besides, Finn’s staying too.”

  Now it was his turn to be outraged.

  “What? That’s not fair. I want to come! You’ll need help.”

  I’m sure Calvin and Darth would have been more vocally disappointed if they weren’t half asleep.

  “Finn, we can argue about this later. Just watch them please. You can even do it in wolf form if you want. Just do it. I’ll pick you up later.”

  And, with that, she got back into her car and drove away.

  12. History, History, History: History Repeats Itself


  And here we were. Right back where we started. In the living room watching Finding Nemo. Except this time, we knew there wasn’t a pizza coming because our pizza boy was a huge wolf pacing around our house.

  Funny how things work out, huh?

  “Are you sure Rachel is OK?” Calvin asked for the millionth time in the twenty minutes we’d been there.

  “Don’t worry, she’ll be fine.”

  Usually, I’d be super annoyed at him asking the same question over and over but after a night like that, you deserve all the reassurance you can get.

  “We should probably start carrying around wolfsbane too,” he added.

  “You do know wolfsbane is poisonous.” Darth said.

  “Nu-uh. It only hurts werewolves.”

  “It gives you rashes and makes you throw up.”

  This is normally where I get up to go do anything else so I don’t have to listen to them, but I didn’t want to leave them alone for a second. I mean, look what happened last time. Right now, a pointless argument and a fluffy Disney movie sounded pretty good.

  POP QUIZ

  My life has managed to get to get to the point where I don’t feel like stabbing myself repeatedly. What’s coming next?
A. Nothing, don’t freak out.
B. All hell is about to break loose.


  “Diana! Ditch the silver now!!”

  CRASH! That’s the sound of my living room window being smashed in by a ton of wolf.

  Finn, burst through the back door, pulling his jeans on.

  “I said get rid of the silver! Do you want Rachel to get fried?”

  I took the ring off and chucked it as far away as possible. Then I got the blanket thing off of the couch and around Rachel who was lying on the floor, shivering, in human form.

  “What happened?”

  “L-leon. He attacked me and I went wolf. I didn’t think. I forgot about the silver cuff. I got fried. He got it off and took off. It was another stupid mistake.”

  Stupid? Stupid? Only stupid? Try terrifically, awesomely, crazily, brain dead. Not that I could say that to her while she was on the floor half naked and shaking.

  “Well, do you know where he went?”

  “No, I assumed he came here. Where else would he—oh no.”

  That is never a good sign.

  “In the car, he heard you. We all did. Your dad, he’s at Barnes and Noble. Alone. Leon’s a wolf. He’ll be able to find him easily.”

  “No! He wouldn’t. There’s too many people, right?”

  She grimaced, “I don’t know anymore. He’s usually so careful. Not anymore. It’s like he doesn’t care anymore. He just wants what he wants any way he can get it. He’s getting more and more drastic. Even after we get your dad out, you still won’t be safe. He’ll just keep trying to get you. I think we’re going to have to try something more permanent.”

  And that’s when I had an epiphany. My own personal aha moment.

  “No, I got it. I know what we have to do. You have to bite me.”

  13. Debating With A Werewolf


  “You want what?”

  “I need you to bite me and turn me into a werewolf.”

  “No.”

  “Yes. You have to.”

  “Us too,” Calvin quickly added in.

  “No. Now go get Rachel some clothes. Both of you.”

  “But we wanna’ listen!”

  “Go, now.”

  They left, all pouty and puppy dog eyed but I ignored them. I had more important things to worry about.

  “Rachel, listen. Our two problems are that Leon wants to bite me and that I’m unprotected, right. So if you bite me, he won’t be able to and he’ll get off it. Plus if he tries anything, I’ll be able to fight back. Win-win, right?”

  “No.”

  “Come on! You did it to Finn and Leon for that matter.”

  “Not on purpose, and I would take it back if I could! Just, listen, OK. This isn’t something you just get up and decide to do. It takes practice and it’s annoying. I got born into this. I’ve been dealing with this forever and it’s hard. Even though he doesn’t act like it, it’s hard for Finn. It’s hard for his parents. Is that what you want?”

  “Of course not!” I said, just as sharply as she had been speaking. “Do you think I want to have to deal with all of those weird wolf problems, like the silver thing and the full moon thing and, I don’t know, the whole not being human thing? I don’t want this, I need this. It has to happen. You’re not going to be around all the time and I have to be able to deal with that. Can you please not argue with me on this? It’s been, like, five minutes. He’s probably there already.”

  “I know what you—”

  “Rachel, do it now, or I’ll get Finn to do it.”

  That, did it.

  “No. No. If you have to do this, you’ll be my responsibility. Not Finn’s.”

  Her eyes set and she looked resolute

  “I’ll do it.”

  14. I Get An Upgrade


  “Are you sure this won’t hurt?”

  We were all in the living room, getting ready for me to cross over to the wolf side.

  “Positive. The first bite will hurt a little then make you drowsy. Like when Finn bit you after you fell out of the tree.”

  I raised my eyebrows at the “fell” comment but didn’t say anything because I wanted this to be over ASAP.

  “The second bite is the money one. Are you sure you don’t have any questions or anything?”

  “No. Just do it please.”

  She sighed, “If you’re sure—”

  “I am.”

  “Ok, and Darth, before you even ask, no.”

  “I didn’t even say anything!” he protested.

  “Yet.”

  “But what if—”

  “Darth no. Rachel, do it now.”

  She looked at me one more time, then got off the couch and wolfed out. I wondered if Dad would miss that pair of jeans, then I held out my forearm and braced myself.

  First, the numbing bite. It hurt, and then I couldn’t feel it. Then I couldn’t feel anything. That was quickly taken care of by the second bite. Rachel was right, it didn’t hurt. In fact, it felt wonderful. Like a rush adrenaline without having to run for my life to get it. The sensation kept on strong for a minute then it reigned in, until it was just a low buzz.

  Rachel was gone, back, and dressed in under a minute. I guess that’s a skill that develops when you’re constantly going through clothes.

  “Are you OK?”

  I clenched and unclenched my hands a few times, “Yeah. That felt good. You never said it was gonna’ feel good.”

  “I didn’t want to encourage you. Oh, and I borrowed these from your dad. I’ll replace them.”

  “Are you sure you’re OK?” Calvin asked.

  Sometimes, I really don’t like Calvin, but when he’s all adorable like that, I remember why I keep him around.

  “Yeah, I’m cool. There’s just this really weird buzzing feeling. When does it go away?”

  “It doesn’t, ” Finn said. “You’ll get used to it.”

  It didn’t really bother me. In fact it felt nice, just a little distracting. If that was the worst part about this, I was feeling pretty good about my decision.
/>   “Now that that’s over with, I was thinking, I can try out my new wolf, take it for a test run—”

  “No!” Finn and Rachel shouted at the same time.

  “Geez. Calm down, why not?”

  “The first time is really intense. Your brain and the wolf instincts get all jumbled up and it’s hard to control and—remember that time a while ago when our pizza place was closed for remodeling?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, that was me. It’s better to start out in a controlled place not full of people and property to damage. Besides, you probably won’t have to go all wolf on him. He just needs to know that you’re off the menu and he’ll slink away,heartbroken.”

  “Fingers crossed,” Rachel mumbled under her breath.

  “Got it, now we—”

  And then my phone rang.

  I looked at the number. Nobody I knew, which meant one of three things:

  1.Wrong number

  2.Telemarketer

  3.Insane wolf stalker

  No prizes for guessing who it was.

  “Hey Leon. ‘Sup.”

  “I’m at Barnes and Noble.”

  I could feel my chest tightening and the fear start to creep up but I kept it out of my voice.

  “That’s cool. You know they have a great self-help section? You should probably look into that.”

  He totally ignored the crack, “There are so many interesting people here. Your father for instance.”

  “Well, yeah. He likes reading. Unlike some people, he has hobbies other than stalking underage girls.”

  Finn snickered.

  “It would be a shame if anything happened to him,” he said, continuing his intimidation speech that I’m pretty sure he stole from some action flick.

  “That’s a good point. Last time he was there he burned his lip on his coffee. We were trying to get him to sue but—”

  “You will come alone.”

  “Well, I can’t exactly drive.”

  He paused for a moment, and then said again, with more force, “Come alone. Then we’ll talk.”

  “OK, kitty. It’s a date.”

  15. Taunting Werewolves And Other Extremely Stupid Sports


  I slid into the booth Leon was sitting in while he was looking the other way. I’ve always been pretty good at sneaking up on people.

  “So, you ordered yet?”

  He jumped, “Where did you—ordered?”

  “Yeah. We’re in a Starbucks. If I have to listen to you talk, I might as well be eating crumb cake. Chop, chop.”

  “I think I’ve been very reasonable. I’ve put up with all of your foolishness but I refuse to buy you cake.”

  “Fine, biscotti then. I’m flexible.”

  He snarled a little but ordered. When it came a few minutes later, I took a big bite out of it, and then put it down.

  “Excellent. OK, now you can talk. But Rachel told me to tell you that she’s outside and if you try anything she’s going to turn you into dog meat.”

  Leon looked around nervously, “I said come alone.”

  “And I said I can’t drive. Guess neither of us are really great listeners, huh?”

  I could tell I was wearing him down. His forehead vein was almost popping out like we were in a cartoon.

  “Stop doing that!”

  “Doing what?” I asked, innocently.

  “Being so…impudent!”

  “You’re going to have to use your small words. Not everyone is as smart as you.”

  “See, right there. You think you’re so in control. Don’t you remember why you’re here in the first place?”

  I cocked my head slightly and widened my eyes, “Because you asked so nicely?”

  “No. It’s because you’re worried about your precious father.”

  The way he said that, so smugly and in control, it made me feel sick. So I decided to turn up the insult level a little.

  “My dad. You must really hate him. He’s the one who Mom chose over you. That must do a number on a guy’s ego. Not sure what you expected. She does have standards. He’s not in any danger right now though. We got that covered.”

  On cue, Finn walked in casually, saw where Dad was sitting and struck up a conversation. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but I knew that Finn was going to lead him over to the history section which was conveniently on the other side of the store and near and exit. Sure enough, after a few moments, I saw Finn point towards the back of the store and they both got up and left.

  His face fell slightly. Good, I thought, and now for the kill.

  “Anyway, no matter what you offer me or threaten me with, you won’t get what you want. See?”

  I pulled down my sleeve so he could see the bite marks Rachel had left.

  “No, you couldn’t have.”

  “Can and did,” I said, relishing the defeat in his voice. “Now that I’ve completed the endgame and I’m off the market, I’m thinking I go back to my life and you get a van and travel the U.S. or something. I hear California is very nice this time of year.”

  I got up but he was still sitting there, shell-shocked.

  “You chose to do this, willingly, instead of just listening to me?”

  “Yeah. It was my idea and everything. For the record, you were going 
to do the same thing.”

  “Samantha was the same way,” he continued creepily, “She didn’t listen. She never listened. I tried to explain it to her but she didn’t get it. That’s why I had to fix her.”

  I narrowed my eyes, “Come again?”

  “She didn’t listen. She didn’t understand, so I had to get rid of her. I didn’t want to but I had to. Is that what you want for yourself? Is it?”

  He kept talking after that but I didn’t hear any of it. Angry didn’t even begin to cover what I was feeling. I was feeling wrath. Real, old time, fire from heaven wrath. All the stalking and weirdness and general creepiness I could be gung ho about but not this. Because that’s when it clicked.

  When my Mom died, I was seven. The cops said that the circumstances of her death were weird because the people who were working the case said that she had been mauled by a big animal, probably a bear or something. The weird thing was that it was in the middle of the winter, bear hibernation season for those of you not in the know. It always had seemed like weird thing to happen and now I knew why. Mauled by a bear? Sure, a big animal but not a bear.

  That was the last straw. After that I didn’t care anymore. I let go of all my self-control. I let the disgust and rage I had been holding in wash over me.

  And then I, Diana Temperance Daniels, wolfed out.

  16. Just When I Think I’ve Got It Figured Out


  Turning into a wolf feels exactly like what a popcorn kernel popping looks like. I’m sorry if that sounds a little vague, but that’s the best way I can describe it. Being a wolf though, that I can describe in one word: Powerful.

  Powerful. It felt powerful. I felt like I could do anything. I felt the strength in the wolf’s body, the speed, the sense of smell. Oh my gosh, everything anyone’s ever told you about the canine sense of smell is true. I could smell the mints in the woman’s purse across the room, I could smell the scones that someone had been eating at our table an hour ago, I could smell the fear Leon was feeling. And it smelt like justice.

  I pounced. Rachel had said that the first time would be hard but she was wrong. That was because, at that moment, the wolf and I wanted the same thing: Leon ripped into as many small pieces as possible.

  I knocked him out first. One blow to the head and it was lights out. There was some background noise, people running for their lives I guess, but I didn’t care. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was what I was doing right now. I circled him.

  Unconscious and drooling on the floor, he didn’t look menacing. Now, he looked exactly the way he truly was.

  Pathetic.

  Finish him, the wolf part of me said.

  Yes, finish him. I raised one massive paw, ready
to rake wicked sharp claws across his body.

  “Diana! Stop!”

  It was Rachel.

  I acknowledged her then went back to my business.

  She came closer and I growled in spite of myself.

  “Diana, look at what you’re doing!”

  Why was she trying to stop me? Isn’t that what she wanted? Isn’t that what we had been trying to do all night? She must have known about what Leon had done.

  “Is this what you really want?”

  I looked at her and then at Leon. Yes. Yes, this was what I wanted. I raised my paw again—but was stopped by the most excruciating pain I had ever felt.Think of every time you’ve ever been hurt. Every time you’ve slammed your finger in a door. Every time you’ve accidentally touched a stove. Keep that in your head. Now multiply that by about a thousand. That’s about how I felt.

  With some difficulty, I managed to turn to see what the problem was.

  Rachel, again.

  She was holding the silver ring I had tossed or a duplicate or something. It didn’t matter. All I knew was that much more of this and I was going to pass out. A small whimper escaped my mouth.

  Why?

  When she spoke, she used the same sincere voice she used the first time we met.

  “You’ll thank me later.”

  17. Debating: Round Two


  I woke up, human and clothed, in the back seat of Rachel’s car. I decided to skip feeling awkward about how I suddenly had clothes on or confused about the time gap and went straight to furious.

  “Why did you stop me?!”

  “Oh, someone’s awake,” she said a bit nonchalantly.

  “I had him! He was right there!”

  “Calvin and Darth are fine by the way. They actually stayed in the car like they were supposed to. They’re with Finn and your Dad now.”

  “I was so close. Why did you have to stop me?” I asked again.

  She sighed and started tapping the window agitatedly.

  “I didn’t want you to make a mistake you couldn’t take back.”

  “What mistake!” I almost screamed, incredulously, “He stalked me, stalked my mom, killed her— you knew about that, didn’t you?”

  She nodded.

  “Then why didn’t you tell me?!”